An interesting take on why Prop 8 failed

I have read a lot about sex differences and what constitutes a gendered based bias, but I never thought about how it affects the gay-rights movement in a way outside of flat antigay bias. This article is therefore very interesting. Now if only it relate to the work I'm supposed to be doing...

Can you find me...

So, I voted today. It was the first time that I voted at a voting booth. In Oregon, where I have voted since I was 18 (in almost every single election, I proudly add), the voting is all done by mail, so I have never been allowed to vote in a booth. Today, was only slightly not the same. My polling station was in some one's backyard. Seriously, that was weird. And only slightly more disappointing was that my "booth" was merely a cardboard stand with sort of tall partitioning wall which didn't even reach my eye height. Then I handed my ballot in a "privacy sleeve" (read as piece of white cardboard folded in half so as to cover the ballot) to a guy who then dropped it into a big cardboard box. So, that feels secure...

I have not watched news in three hours, mostly because I'm afraid that if I watch it will end up like the last two presidential elections. I just don't think that there's enough wine in the world to make that okay. Instead I'm watching VHS tapes of shows that I'm behind on. Yes I wrote VHS. We watch so many conflicting shows that we have to use the VCR to record a third channel, since the DVR can't record three channels at once. That's ridiculous, but there are other times when we don't record anything because there is a lot of bad TV that we don't watch. So, I'm getting caught up on my Biggest Loser fix in which I'm thinking I really I should be at the gym, not sitting on my couch.

Here's something amusing for you:

This is a clipped version of a larger wall of camouflage but I did not get permission from the other person in the picture (who isn't camouflaged in the picture) to put his image up. That picture is much funnier because he's "looking for me."

Why do some automatic toilets never automatically flush and why do others flush while you're still on them?

Not anything about Europe

Okay, so I'm bad at this "blogging" thing. I understand that, but it's sort of ridiculous that I can't even post about things that are current because I'm spending all the few blogs that I do write on old trips.

So, here's some semi-recent news. I'm engaged (and have been for almost two months). So, I have been not planning my wedding because it's a big and expense task. Mostly because I'm apparently more traditional and snobby than I thought. Also because San Diego isn't cheap, no matter what you do.

I'm working now. I have no idea what I'm doing on a regular basis, but the people keep telling me that it's normal and okay thing. It should make me feel better, but it doesn't.

I also had to go on an orientation where I learned about communication and active listening. Then we had to go to fancy dinner with other new associates to the firm. Yeah, I'm glad I don't live in New York because a large number of those associates really irritated me because of how important they thought they were and how much better they thought they were. We work for the same firm, make the same pay, and started at the same time. You're not inherently better than me, so get over it.

I did get to see Laurie and her man, which was far superior. It's awesome to hear about what they're doing and how their lives are changing. Although, I seem to have stayed caught up because of the blogging. Live is always better, however.

That's pretty much it for now. I need to go to the grocery store now because I need food to eat.

And then...

So, the last two stops on my European trip were Barcelona and Madrid. Barcelona was one of my favorite stops. The hotel was on La Rambla, and I had a lot of time to do my own thing. So, I chose to walk from La Rambla to the Gaudi Park, which I estimated to be a 4 to 6 kilometer walk, in one direction. It was well worth it because it was a great way to see the city in both it's touristy and real life and buildings. Below are pictures of the touristy parts:





This is me at Gaudi Park. It sits at the top (or near the top anyway) of a hill that over looks Barcelona. The benches here are really famous, and you can only see a little of them. Behind me is the house that looks like the gumdrop house from Candyland, but my big old head is in the way. Then there is the rest of Barcelona and then the Mediterranean Sea, which is a giant port.


This is my favorite Gaudi building. It is a representation of St. George slaying the dragon (it's a dragon on his pile of bones, e.g. the skull balconies). The picture does not do the building justice. It also made me root for the dragon, but that's more about me than the building or the story.

This is the most famous of the Gaudi buildings, the Sagrada Familia. They've only been working on it for 120 years. I think they said it's about half done. The coolest part to me is that Gaudi determined the measurements of the building by hanging sandbags upside down on strings and then doing the conversions. It was a non-traditional method, to say the least. So much so that modern day architects were not sure if his measurements were correct, so they did the calculations using math (not sandbags) and Gaudi's measurements were exactly correct. Take that establishment! (Sorry, I'm trying balance the fact that I'm the man's lawyer and that I don't agree with the man on a lot of principles.)

The next stop was Madrid. This city got sold short because it was the last city on the trip, it was so hot, and it was the end of August -- meaning everything was closed. I was so tired of traveling and being with strangers (who weren't really strangers anymore). Also, almost all of the tour of the city was by bus, which doesn't feel organic so it's hard to get a good feel for the place. Also, I had to finish up the gift shopping which is only because I'm a big procrastinator. The awesomest part was visiting the Prado Museum with a local guide. She taught me a lot about the history of art and some truly amazing artists. My favorite was Goya but that's probably because he went through the most diverse periods and created new concepts on how art could express the world. Depression seems to change art in a profound way and it was coming through his depression that Goya created The Dog, which is the only poster I bought during my whole trip through art museums. Below are two of my pictures.

This statue is in front of the palace (yeah, I forget that Spain is a monarchy, too). The reason that it's cool is that it is the first statute where the horse is on its only standing on its back legs (the pose was taken from a portrait). The interesting part about this is that no one knew how they could get the statue to stand up. They had to have some Italian mathematicians do the math in order to figure out the geometry (they told me the name, which I recognized, but I can't remember who it was because it's been almost two months -- I think DaVinci, but that seems so obvious and therefore wrong, maybe Michelangelo). The picture is washed out because I don't know how to use my old school film based camera well enough. Most of my film pictures look like this (if they turned out at all -- stupid winding mechanism...).

This was the view of Madrid from my hotel room. It was the only room in the group on the 12th floor, so I had a phenomenal view, including the sunset. I did walk all around Madrid, mostly trying to find a tobacco shop so that I could buy the last few stamps I needed to mail out postcards to my family. That literally took five hours. I found stamps at a tobacco shop where the owner did not speak a bit of English (weird being in Spain and all) and I barely can say hello in Spanish. So a brief pantomime session later I got my stamps. Then I stopped at a pay phone to use up the last minutes on my phone card (because a phone at a five star hotel cannot accept a phone card !?!). After I hung up, having been cut off by using up all my time, I look down my shirt and saw that I had been pooped on by a bird. BASTARD BIRD! I had made it through the whole trip being warned about the probability of bird shite and I got pooped on on my last day!

So, that's my trip in short summary. I have forgotten a lot of details, but I have over a thousand pictures and a scrapbooking project to remind me. I will do another post or two about the road trip part, but you've now gotten a good taste of my trip. It was fun, interesting, exhausting, and a great way to introduce me to a couple of beautiful countries.

As for my first week at work, I'm strongly opposed to being awake for so long starting so early. I prefer the 10 am wake up. Also, my work clothes used to fit so much better. Stupid metabolism and fried chicken.

I am also officially a CA resident (new license and all) so I get to vote here now...but I also have to pay more attention to election news.

Now for October's post

I started another post while I was in MN, but since I was in charge of a baby, my computer time was limited. Then I was at my parent's house where my computer is not accepted by the network. Then I was home for two days and too lazy to do any updating, and then I was in VT for an intoxicating weekend. That's my excuse this time.

For those that have asked about the CA bar passage rate, the July 2007 passage rate for overall test takers was 56.1%, for first time takers it was 68.9%. For those who graduated from a CA ABA Approved school it was 75.9 %. So, that's where my confusion is based. There are tons more statistics out there, but that's why I'm nervous.

So, here's the next bit about my travels:

The next places I went were Florence and Monaco (staying in the area called Monte Carlo). Florence was an amazing city if you wanted to see art, even just walking through the streets it was amazing to look at the buildings and the art painted on the side of old buildings. They had a loggia full of statutes in the square where the David originally stood. I saw the David and I finally understand the appeal and renown. It’s just inspiring how realistic the statue was as far as depicting a fit young man. The biggest problem is that everything in Florence is copyright protected so you can only buy images, but you cannot take pictures of things. Stupid lawyers...

Here are some pictures from Florence:


This was the view from my hotel room. To the left, where the rest of the rooms were was the historic area, with the Basilica and Baptismal and Bell Tower. The bridge that looks like a building is where most of the jewelers in Florence are. It used to be where the butcher's had their shops, but the Duke decided that the blood, etc., that poured from the slaughtering into the river was not healthy and declared that only gold could sold from the bridge. It was right outside his windows, so I'm not surprised.

This is me in front of the Gates of Paradise, which are really the doors to the Baptismal which tell the bible stories in golden pictures. They are said to be called that because Michelangelo said that they were so pretty that they must be the gates of paradise when he first saw them. This is also where we had our first encounter with the gypsies. Not at all like what Disney portrays them as. It's much more sad.

This is a replica of the original David, sitting where the original David was for centuries until someone "cleaned" the statute so well that it removed the marble's natural protective coat, ensuring that it will calcify and crumble in time. Now the real David is in a museum and this replica sits in front of the Duke's original palace, near the Uffizi (translates "office") Building where a bunch of amazing art was hung for the Duke and is now a museum which I wandered around.

We then went to Monaco, staying in Monte Carlo. I bought stamps, because everything else cost too much.

Here are some pictures:

This is my feet in the Mediterranean Sea. Now, I've only got a few oceans and seas left that my feet should touch. Some of them, however, I don't think that I want to put my feet in. But that's a different post.

This is the world famous Casino in Monte Carlo, from the backside. It costs money to gamble for reals; the more the door fee, the higher the stakes at the table. I went into the video gambling section which both has no dress code and no cover charge. Therefore, all they got from me was five Euros. However, other people from the group dropped off more of their wealth there.

These pictures represents the "standard" modes of transportation in Monaco. The cars are an Astin Martin and a Ferrari. The boats are huge, and I didn't get the biggest boats into the picture. So, that's why I bought stamps. Oh, and a drink, too. Monaco has a Formula-One race which is the big thing there and they were getting ready for the F-1 to come to town. So, there was apparently a guy who would take you along the road track in a Ferrari for 35 Euro. I didn't do that either.

I would note that in my excellent trip retelling skills, I've missed some in-between stops, which also have interesting landmarks. I have decided that I will simply make the "on the road" portion of my story a separate entry.

I would also note that my picture uploading to blog skills leave something to be desired. This entry took at least an hour to format properly. That's absurd. Never mind the spelling mistakes and now the reposting because of too many typos.

I am currently off to yet another wedding, this one in San Francisco, and then I start off on my new career of being the Man on Monday. Ah the trepidation and fear.

"And now time for something completely different." ~ Monty Python Flying Circus

Where am I?

So, I'm currently visiting Minneapolis. I woke up three times in the middle of the night and had minor panic attacks because I had no idea of where I was. Here's why. In the last four weeks, I've been in 11 cities. I've spent no more that four nights in any one of those cities. Never mind the nights on the train, where even when I think about it, I wouldn't have the opportunity to beginning to figure out where the heck I am, other than, I'm not at any of the destinations I'm trying to reach.

For those of you in the Chicago region who begged me to visit them, I'm sorry but I clearly didn't make. There is a possibility that I will be in the area sometime soon, and I'll let you know if it's going to work out in a more personal way, but I wanted to give you a public shout out that I'm sorry I didn't see you and I suck because of it.

There is so much to update people about, so I'll start with this: Italy is full of old stuff. Really cool old stuff. I saw a lot of it, and I took a stupidly large number of pictures while there. Here are a few of them.






This is the front of the Pantheon, the oldest still standing building in Rome. It was only saved because they altered it into a Christian church, which is the decor it still has. All the old statutes which were for the Roman gods, were removed and likely turning into mortar for new buildings.

This is me in front of the famous Trevi Fountain. Go me.

These are some building in Venice. The one on the right is leaning because the foundation is made of petrified wood, as is all of Venice.

This is the Venetian graveyard. The people who founded Venice as a city of islands realized they needed to do something with the bodies, and they decided that they would just dedicate one island to burials. Now it is full and you must be a super important Venetian to be buried there.

So, that's a little update. Now I must e-mail people about working so that I can pay for this whole running around the world thing I've been doing.

Back to my old habits

Clearly, given my new found luxury time you would think that I'd at least update this blog more often, but some habits are old and hard to break. Procrastination is my old nemesis (just ask my parents) and therefore I put of to next week what I should be doing today. So, as per my habits, I am taking off for the European vacation on Sunday and I haven't packed, I have about fourteen errands to run, and I am not in my house right now.

I'm at the boy's parents' house. He's up here for work all week, so I thought I'd join him and sit in a vegetative state watching Olympics and reading. I've accomplished that along with developing a strong need to hide in corners and knots in my back. There is often a lot of tension here, and it's not unusual for the family to just sort of let it be that way, but for an outsider and potential in-law it is awkward and weird. More importantly, the boy's mom likes me a lot and talks to me about all of the behavior and some of the background, but it's in a conspiratorial and justifying sort of way. I better understand some of the dynamics but I see a lot of behaviors that I don't expect out of grown-ups. It doesn't help that my family doesn't openly deal with issues and the boy's family does (in a weird privately public sort of way). I don't really mean openly either because there's just a lot of bickering over really dumb things that sits on top of deeply rooted long term problems and "problem management" techniques which have clearly failed. Let's just say that in forty years from now, I truly hope that the boy and I don't have the same relationship his parents have and that our kids are different. I'm not saying I want it to be like my parent's house, but I certainly don't think that I have the genetic make-up to survive for forty years under this must tension and disappointment.

On a lighter note, I'm still working out my cross US trip. I'll probably get to Tucson, Chicago, DC, Minneapolis, and Portland. But, I really need to take care of the scheduling for all of that and see if some of my dear friends will let me crash with them after I get in at a train station at midnight-thirty. Also, I need to price it out because the "unlimited" rail pass is, in fact, not unlimited but only allows for four trips. As you can see, I'll need to make six. So I have to determine which ones I should do on a pass and which I should do out of pocket. Then I have to determine my schedule. It's a boat load of fun and I'm not that good at reading train schedules yet....

So, I'm gonna be gone for reals for about two weeks and then I'll be on the rails for about a month, followed by weekends spent at wedding and then I start to work and then I find out about the bar and then the Holidays. Hopefully, in the mean time I'll start updating here with regular postings about nothing and how it affects me.

I had a couple of good old fashion rants in my head, but I thought I'd start with a question:

How do they make sun-dried tomatoes? I mean, if I leave tomatoes in the sun, they just rot...

Done

Well, I've finished the bar. My brain is broken as far as reasoning skills. But I hopefully will never need to do this again.

Some highlights from the bar:

There was an earthquake toward the end of the first essay writing section. We all felt it, the lights shook. The reaction of the entire room was to look around to see if we weren't imagining it and then to keep typing.

The second day I went into a bathroom stall at lunch and saw a fully enclosed package of trail mix in the toilet, and all I thought was "that sure went through fast." I'm sure that someone had dropped it in the toilet, but really my brain is amused with itself.

The final day nothing really happened to write about except I finished. That's all that matters.

Now, I get to wait until November to find out if I passed. Woo hoo.


Now for getting back to my life, which I don't really know what that means because I've been in school for so long that I haven't had this much time to myself.

I'm gonna go see a movie today. It's called Batman. I'm very excited...

Much love for all the thoughts and love and support.

My niece is one and see has the looks of a troublemaker who is gonna get away with a lot :)

Frick the Bar and Everything Associated with it....

I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail,
I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail, FRICK THE BAR!!!!!
I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail,
I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail, I CANNOT LEARN THIS STUFF
I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail,
I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail, I HATE IT IN THE STUDY PLACE
I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail . . .

You're now privy to the contents of my brain. You'll note, being the smart people you are, that nothing in there is actually going to help me, like the bits and pieces of the law that I'm supposed to know or be learning right now.

I am subjecting myself to this test on Tuesday through Thursday. I will either be dead or asleep after that. Therefore, if you don't hear from me in early August, you will know that I'm dead.

Much love and thanks for any positive mental energy you have spared for me this summer. One thought of goodness on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday would be noticed, I'm certain.


KISSES!

Well, now I'm just scared

I don't feel at all prepared for the bar and because of that, I'm too nervous to study effectively. Why is my body and my mind not working to solve this problem, and instead it's making everything worse. STUPID BRAIN, BE MORE SMART.


I just wanted to vent, and now back to not updating.

Procrastination and Nervous Breakdowns

Well. I am a month from the bar . . . awwwwwww freak out.

So, I create a slightly less stressed me, I have selected part of my "post-bar" trip. I am doing what a lot of other smart people did when they were young and unafraid and going to Europe. Since I am now old and fearful, I am using a tour group to "guide" me from place to place. I.e. I'm staying in decent hotels, which a strong likelihood of a private bathroom, I will have a guide nearby to ask questions about the cities I'm in, some of my meals are taken care of, and my luggage will be handled by someone in order to get me from place to place. I know, I know, I sold out and should have tried the whole Eurorail & hostel route. However, I'm alone on this trip and don't make friends easily. Also, I fit the horrible US citizen stereotype and only speak Americanized English. Lord help me, I'm sorry I just did not learn languages, ever. To let you all in on where I'm going, the trip includes Venice, Rome, Monte Carlo, Barcelona and Madrid. Each place is at least two days, and most are two nights. The tour group provides some orientation and "hard to get" tours for the group and then lets you spend your time being lost in Europe. Plus, there is forced interaction with other members of the tour at the group dinners. Hopefully, it will help me to get to a lot of places and see a lot of stuff.

I am sad that I won't get to other places, such as the rest of Europe, but to my knowledge it's not going anywhere and I doubt all the ruins and castles will disappear before my next opportunity to travel.

Next, I'm trying to figure out a way to go all over this fine nation and visit many of the lovely people I know. There are far to many of you living in places that no one else resides any longer. If you could, please, I would appreciate it if everyone I know would just move to the same location. Also, I'm trying to figure out how I can afford to do all this without a job. However, I think that I'm going to do something that I've, oddly enough, always wanted to do, and get a US Rail Pass for Amtrak and see this fine country by rail. I know it's not likely to be beautiful everywhere, but it will be an experience. It's also super cheap when compared to flying/driving to all the places I wish to go.

Finally, I've decided that I'm only really allowed to procrastinate in order to take care of real things, like financing, travel plans, talking to my family, etc. and no longer am allowed to read for fun. Also, I will be limiting all other "entertainment" until I'm either, less likely to cry when I perform a practice test and fail to achieve 50% correct, feel truly prepared to take the bar, or the bar is over. More than likely the last, the former are just likely to get worse as I continue down the spiral of frustration and horror that has become my studying of late.

PS Don't go to grad school, it costs way freaking too much in the end...

An Open Letter to Food Stuffs Makers

Dear Sirs and Madames:

Please stop making the bags in which you place your various food items, such as cereal, goldfish crackers, and the like, out of material that is weaker than the glue with which the bag is sealed shut. It is already difficult enough to open said bags properly given the Herculean effort necessary just to start the opening process, but then to have a giant tear in the wrong direction makes the process of eating your food, or more accurately getting your food into a dish, all the more frustrating. Therefore, the entire process, from start to finish of eating your bagged food becomes annoying.

While some might suggest that I simply use scissors instead, I say that you are the ones who recommend peeling the bags open at the glue strip, therefore the issue is yours to fix. Besides, it didn't used to be this way when I was little. I could open a bag correctly when I was little. Now that I'm older, it seems that you've improved your glue, but left the bag weaker and more subject to tearing.

Thank you for your efforts to improve this problem.

Sincerely,

Girl with too many bags of food which require extra sealing...

So much pain

So, in my effort at procrastinating, oh and to get healthier, I have started attending the gym with the boy. I dropped my membership that I wasn't using and joined at his gym which was cheaper. Now, I feel "motivated" to go, in that way that he's going, and he will encourage me to go. The boy is also a former personal trainer at a gym, so he's put together a routine for me. I have pain in the strangest places. And there are certain things that I have to do which just don't feel good anymore, like sitting up or reaching for things. But it's a good sort of pain.

There's a statement that doesn't make sense "good pain." Unless that's your thing. If it is I recommend starting over at the gym. If it's not, then you're with me on the fact that the statement "good pain" makes no sense. Productive pain sort of makes sense, like childbirth is, apparently, productive pain. It is pain that encourages you to get that alien parasite out of you, which is important. Or like an infection, it's telling you to get rid of the bad stuff, even if that includes cutting your arm off. Productive pain in relation to the gym is the light soreness that you feel more when your using your body to do normal things, it reminds you that your body isn't as strong as it used to be and that it is in my power to fix.

Now, if only I could find a way to apply that to my bar studies. It's just a matter of making myself sick to a realistic schedule which will really help me study. The hardest part is just reading and rereading stuff so that I can commit a lot of information to memory. It's not as easy to stay focused for extended periods of time to get myself to really read through the information. Instead I find my mind wandering or my eyes slowly closing as I fall asleep. I need something that will cause me to be un-distracted and want to read through this stuff. Perhaps I need a better sense of impending doom.

Perhaps instead of writing you people I should go study now.

Where does the time go?

So, I was doing good with the updating for about two weeks there, and then bam, back to my old habits. So very shocking for the rest of you, I'm sure.

I am currently enmeshed in my bar review classes. I spend 4-8 hours in class almost everyday -- including today, a Saturday -- and then I'm expected to study for 6-8 hours outside class. I'm averaging 2-3 hours of extra studying. That's just not going to cut the mustard kids. However, I haven't really felt the pressure I'm starting feel now. Now, I'm actually giving myself hard line hourly assignments and cracking the proverbial whip. I'm up to about 4 hours a day. I think that I need to find a way to motivate myself that doesn't end in the night terrors. I also need to stop finding excuses and just lock myself in my study room and demand more of myself. I mean, it's less than two months now, and I don't want to do this again...

However, I did distract myself with an excellent weekend at a certain persons bachelorette party last weekend. It was a lot of time spent NOT studying, but it was an awesome time and I'm really glad I did it. Especially since I can't make it to her wedding. Something about she did not want to schedule it around my bar exam!?!

So, that's where I'm at. I'll try to put updating this on my schedule regularly to avoid the two month gaps I normally end up with.

It's really too bad that the weather is so nice right now...

I have good moral character

officially! The bar requires an in depth background check of all potential attorneys seeking to be barred in California. I passed. Go me!

Now, the only thing between me and the taking over of the world is a three day (18 hour) test for which I'm not anywhere near prepared, and the statistics of passing are not as favorable as some odds I've seen on long-shot horses. Okay, it's not that messed up, but only 75% of first time test takers pass, and the passing grade would be a failing grade in the real world...but in the real world, I would look up the answer in a book or in a case, not try to tell you the law from my brain. Because I'm gonna be a responsible professional (I passed that earlier).

Okay, I've got to finish folding laundry so that I can fold some more laundry and then pretend to study.

P.S. I am pleased with this year's American Idol winner. I'm not sure how that makes me feel about my life...

P.P.S. First post without a spelling error when spell checked.

I totally stole this!

Thanks to Laurie for the link, I just had to know who I really am:

Your Score: The Geek

You scored 50 anxiety, 78 awkwardness, and 58 neuroticism!

You stick out like a sore thumb, with your social awkwardness and mildly neurotic behaviors--but you don't let it get you down! You are The Geek, and are here to prove that people who know the first 1000 digits of pi and try to woo dates by talking about calculators can be happy too! You have friends...and they are probably just as odd as you.

Your low anxiety score implies that you are able to relax, can enjoy the here and now, and have a healthy amount of self-confidence.

Your high awkwardness score implies that you are socially inept, probably stick out from the crowd, and perhaps feel uncomfortable in large groups of people, such as at parties. Your high neuroticism score implies that you exhibit neurotic behaviors--probably fanatic obsessions, counting compulsions, or other geekish tendencies. You may know every word to LOTR, or draw anime of all your friends.

See the other results!

Well-Adjusted

The Neat Freak

The Dork

The Geek

Phobic

Obsessive-Compulsive

The Subtle Neurotic

The True Neurotic

For the original test go to this site.

Tooting my horn

Okay, so sorry for the delay, but I wanted to let everyone know I officially graduated on Saturday. I now have extra letters after my name. Go me! And now for the semi-bragging, I graduated cum laude (top 15%). Yeah for me! I worked really hard and if I had tried a little hard this last semester, I probably could have been higher, but so what?

Now I am studying for the bar. It is not fun and I don't want to talk about. Nor do I seem to want to do it. Today is the first day I made it to the library to study after class, and all I've managed to do is surf the internets. Mind you, I haven't had a connect to the internet since Friday when our stupid cable company did something stupid and I haven't been able to get on the world wide web since then. So, now I'm at the library with the wifi and the distraction and here I am, updating my blog.

For graduation weekend, my mom & dad, sister & niece, and the boy's parents all came to see me. It was exhausting. Mostly because mom, dad, sister & niece all stayed with me and the boy, so the boy and I slept on an air mattress in the living room. Oh, and graduation was at 9 am, which meant we had to be there by 7:45 am. What is wrong with people? I had to rent a minivan. I'm not really minivan material quite yet. It is too big and I can't see out the windows. It was good to see my family, but it was also good to see them go. I just haven't felt like I've had time to myself, not that I do now, with the bar studying.

However, I would simply state that my niece is very cute and getting somewhat speedy on the crawling and grabbing and general fascination which everything she's not supposed to touch. She also did not cry at all through my two plus hour graduation. She slept. I wanted to, too. We also took her for her first "swim" in our apartment pool. She didn't cry at all, except when we put the sunscreen on her before we went down stair. It was largely because she wanted to play with the sunscreen stick, but she wasn't allowed because it was necessary to hold the stick in order to apply the sunscreen. See the dilemma. Apparently, her newest "trick" is to cry when she doesn't get what she wants. It's hard for my sister because she tries to not give in, but then there are six other adults who aren't her parents around giving in.

For those of you who care, my dad won the election he was in. It was a very big deal to him, and thus to me and my family. I'm terribly proud of my dad and who he is. Politics, however, you stink, despite your provision of my earliest jobs.

Anyway, much love to the two of you still reading.

Time off

Okay, so I finished my finals on Saturday. Here's how I have spent my time off: making a list of things to do and not really accomplishing them. It's awesome, except that I start my first (of three) bar review classes on Saturday. (BTW, who schedules a bar review class to start on a Saturday????)

Here is a sample of my to do list:

Clean office
Clean living room
Clean bathrooms
Clean bedroom
Clean kitchen
Balance checkbook since October
Plan post-bar trip
Organize files
Pick up graduation robe

In sum, my post finals to do list is LAME (fyi, for those who care the "clean x" portion of the list is all of the rooms in my apartment, and it's gross). So here is what I've accomplished: got drunk (twice), read a fun book, looked at the internet for everything but the vacation, gone to school to help on an article I'm editing for the journal, watched tv, and um... oh I did clean my office and my bedroom. It took WAY too long, but I am cleaning with the intent that it be still good in a week and a half for when my fam roles into town for graduation. My niece is coming! However, she has moved to the stage in life that involves crawling everywhere and sticking everything in her mouth. This means I have to move things like cords and choking hazards to places that she can't get them. Mind you I understand that she comes up to my mid calf and her reach probably goes to my knee, but we are not a baby friendly environment and we have an inordinate amount of wires wandering around the house. This comes from the insistence of the boy of having a home where he can do his work. So inconsiderate.

I also managed to pick up my grad robe. I get to wear a purple hood and that's cool. Apparently the theology PhD.s get blood red hoods, which the guy handing them out pointed out was the most appropriate thing because more wars have been started in the name of religion than anything else. Fairly clever for a guy who almost cut himself twice opening and closing the safety on his box opening razor.

So now, I must stop procrastinating and go to bed, in a very clean room (it's where my parents are going to be sleeping).

PS I'm also now convinced that the online game systems cheat to make me lose too. And not the geek-sheik online world of games like "world of warcraft" but games like yahoo's mahjong.

Despite what my gchat message says...

I am procrastinating. My last final is on Saturday (tomorrow) morning at 8:30am. I don't want to study for it any more. Not that I have for the last day & a half. So, to feel like I'm closer to studying, I sit at my computer and have studies related items up and the internet. And some sort of "came with my computer card game." This leads me to the real reason for my post.

I am 95% sure that the free computer version of hearts cheats. How else would the "person" who is giving me cards always get dealt the Queen of Hearts? How is the only way to ruin my perfect hand is for the exact card of the leading "person" just played to be in their hand? How else do you explain my running out of low spades every time when the only "person" left to play is the one with the queen? How is it statistically possible that the cards go that way until I close it and reopen it with a new name? It's like it tracks my play and if I have the possibility of winning more than once it starts to make the other "players" magically good players?

Okay, okay, okay. It's paranoia better spent studying, so I'm gonna go try to do that now.

PS Thanks to the fans who checked in to say they still read me :) I love you guys!

One down, one to go . . .

So, I've taken one final. The harder final. The final that I knew I wasn't prepared for. I didn't bomb it. I just didn't ace it either, but I'm okay with that. It was hard, but I finished. For example of the difficulty here is a paraphrase of the last question, which details removed:

If case X (decided 19xx, p. xxx in text) was decided five years later, what additional issue would the court have had to address and how would that have changed the analysis.

UMMMMM...

Thank goodness it was open book, so I could just start flipping through to read the dates of decision of later cases that might be relevant. I figured out something, and so I could answer the question, but well...we'll see how well.

So, now I have one more test to take. It's a 100 question True/False test. Seriously, I'm a little scared of that because I know that those sorts of questions aren't actually easy when that's all you're being tested on. Especially when it comes to ethics. Ethics very rarely test your knowledge when the issues are black and white. Instead, you have to look at the nuanced gray areas to really determine if you understand the crux of the issue. So, to then get to the issues by asking true/false questions only means that you can't get away with explaining the issue and then making you decision, you have to choose...I don't want to choose...blah.

Other than that, I'm starting bar prep classes in a week and a half. On a Saturday. What the crap? Why couldn't they wait til Monday?

I'm also starting to exercise more. This is good because for the first time in my life I'm really not happy with my body. I'm getting fat in certain areas. I'm clearly not fit. My clothes and I struggle on a regular basis. Therefore, I really need to work on making myself okay with my body. On way to do that is to exercise. The other is to diet. Not really diet, but to eat consciously. I have found that I'm not really not paying a lot of attention to what I'm eating and what's in it. I've started eating a LOT of processed food. That's not good for you because there is a whole lot of extra crap in there that you can't pronounce and don't put in when you cook. So, now I'm trying to cook more using whole foods and known ingredients. I'm not perfect, but it's a start.

So, that's what's up with me right now. What's up with you? Does anyone read this anymore?

My Last Law School Class

So, today is the last day of classes for me in my entire law school career. I'm torn because I do love being in school, and I think that I've finally figured out some of the stuff that I want to study and become an "expert in," which is not necessarily related to the type of law that I would practice. However, I'm not so big on the trend of "I have no money because the only money I have the bank gave me and they seem to think I'll give it back soon." I've accepted that I've sold out, and I'm looking forward to the fee that comes with it, for now at least.

I started to write this post while I was still in class, but I also took notes, so class is done now, and so am I. The professor ended class discussing when we will face the conflict between our ethical obligations and our moral senses and how we will face that. Maybe I'm less torn because I don't know if I can sacrifice my morality in order to be a "good" lawyer. Perhaps school would be better for me...

The point of all of this is that my graduation is in a month (exactly a month, actually) and then I have to study for and take the bar. After that I'll have done everything I have to do to become a lawyer (provided I pass the bar which I won't know until November). This is a very scary reality because I've like being insulated from the real world in a very real way. I watch the national and local news on Monday for the first time in years (not counting "Meet the Press" or "The Chris Matthews Sunday Show") and it was a little disheartening that I have to deal with that sooner rather than later.

Also, I have been seriously considering looking to buy a home because market conditions might lead to affordability. Turns out that "areas such as San Diego" haven't really had the pricing hit and will rebound sooner plus they are getting choosy about who they extend credit to. So, I may be living in my nearly section 8 housing where my downstairs neighbors have reported us to the management for being too loud late at night and we are living under threat of potential eviction until we can afford to get an ungodly sum of money for a down payment on a way over priced home that has a commute of an hour. I love southern california...

Plus, I need to buy a car. I'm currently driving my parent's car because they have had an extra car because of daughters in college mooching off them for years now, but I feel like once I join the "real world" I should sit down and buy my first car. That requires figuring what kind of car I want, how long I plan on having it, if I want to go used or new, if I want a hybrid, how much I can afford, blah, blah, blah...

Oh, and I still need to finish my paper and take my finals. Plan my summer carefully so I can go to places when I need to, but not miss my bar classes, and still have some money from the extra loan I took out in order to afford all of this so that I can start paying off the loans that are coming due. I don't like this adult real world.

Sorry, about that rant. I'll be better later. I don't know when later is going to be, but it will happen.

Woo hoo!

It is official, I have the potential to be an ethical lawyer! I passed the ethics test, and I was only 4 points below the mean score! That's a rate of 13 points over the score I needed in order to be considered "passed" for the bar.

That is all for now.

So much to say, but so much procrastination...

Okay, so I've been away from here for a while. I'd say I am sorry, but that would merely be repeating myself and patronizing you. So here's a brief update of what's going on.

After I got sick the boy got sick because he didn't think it was fair that I had all the attention for so long. But, because he is who he is, he got sick bigger and better than me. His sick required multiple doctors and actual procedures. The biggest problem is that he is self employed and has not bothered to get himself insured for the health "care." So, not only is he out work from that stretch of time where he couldn't move without screaming in pain, he needs the money he could have made to pay for the necessary care. Also, I don't know how long I can put up with sick people, but apparently it's about 5 minutes to 5 seconds depending on how many days you've been broken. Yeah, I'm ready for kids. Do you see how nurturing that is?

Then there was the school stuff. It was a lot and it's not getting any less and the senioritis is getting worse. blahhhhhhh. I did write a 27 page draft of a paper in about 2 days, and I got 4 hours of sleep.

I took the first steps to taking the bar. There is a lot of stuff that they really don't tell you that you have to do and how expensive it's going to be. Things I've accomplished include filling out a lot of paperwork. For example:
I have filled out my moral character application in which I must swear that I'm not so shifty that I won't be a good lawyer (insert standard lawyer joke here). This includes needing to get five non-relative references, one of whom must be a licensed attorney. Thank goodness that I had a summer job, because that means I know a real lawyer.
Then I took the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam, or MPRE, which is a three hour test or your ethics knowledge. You have to get less than 50% to pass. It's essentially hoping that you fill in bubbles well enough that you don't look unethical. I do, however, know people who I don't think are stupid, who failed to pass...
I applied to take the CA State Bar Exam. It cost a lot of money and if I don't get to take it here, I have to take it in another city and it will be far away. BOOOOO.

That's about half an update. I have my spring break to talk about. I will drop this hint about that story: I did something that most people would never expect of me in Las Vegas that has nothing to do with gambling, strippers, or hookers, in fact it has nothing do with the location, it just happened within the county which could pique interest. Any guesses?

I been sooo sick

So, I have had this terrible chest cold that's recently added fever and chills to the gut wrenching coughing and the mucus train. When I first caught the cold I made the joke that it was because of my allergy nasal spray because I got a cold the last time I took it. Well, it turns out one the "mild" side affects of the said product is in fact viral infection according to the commercial I just say. May I just note that a week and a half of this crap is not mild, and is, in fact, one of the grossest illnesses I've had. Stupid side affects... Thanks the chemists for NyQuil and it's generic counterparts...

Other than that I've been very busy with school stuff. Mostly, I've been working on an editing project for the law journal trying to insure that the 1000+ sources the author cited are correctly cited. It's boring and it sucks. I regret applying for the position.

I just wanted to update you as to my current excuse for not updating. I think that I'm gonna go pass out now...

I got my oil changed...

So, I try to talk to my parents once a week, more for their peace of mind than anything else. But, sometimes when we talk, I have nothing say, and we end up talking about weather. I am very interested in the weather, but I just cannot focus on a conversation for more than a minute when that's all that's up for discussion. Similarly, I do not focus when people tell me stories but cannot remember the important details, like the name of the person you ran into who I used to work with 8 years ago who is blond and short, well shorter than you anyway, or when you insist upon only discussing where the mucus is in your head. I'm just not that tolerant, especially when I'm tired. This is what happened last night while I was talking and my dad asked if he had called in the middle of an interesting show. He hadn't, and in fact there was almost nothing on last night (Damn the Strike!!!!). So, apparently I was just really tired. Mostly, all I could think to say is that the only thing going on with me was that I had gotten the oil changed in the car and then went to Costco. That was, in fact, the highlight of my week. And this week does not seem like it will be more interesting. At least there will be politics to complain about.

Since I clearly have nothing going on in my life, I will share the following about other people who I know who probably don't read this blog...

My friend from high school had her baby. Woo hooo! I've yet to receive pictures.

Friends of the boy's son fell down at pre-school in such a way that he has a spiral fracture high on his femur (near the hip joint). He is two years old (but the size of a four year old) and is in a "full body cast." Apparently, a full body cast isn't as full as it sounds. He has both arms free, a whole for stuffing diapers in, an open tummy area, and the lower half of one (the non-broken) leg is free. Oddly, his mom says he hasn't been too fussy about it, and for the last two weeks has entertained himself well enough. She suspects its because he doesn't know enough to be truly upset about it. I think they're dosing him because he's one of the most active little boys I have seen (not that I've seen a lot of little boys, but he does not stop until he is exhausted enough to go to bed, and even then it's chaos). BTW, I don't really think that, but it sounded funnier.

The boy has taken to calling my niece the "alien baby" because "she is too little." I informed him that apparently she is a "peanut baby" because my sister said so. He continues to disagree...
Because my niece is just another Gerber looking baby, I will post the following picture of me and her from Christmas, which is now my background on my computer...




I'm sorry, but when did my family get so Nordic?


The difference between "organic ranch dressing" and normal ranch dressing...bits of onion.

And then....

Okay, so I left off telling you about my trip home. To summarize, my niece is cute but vomits, my parents have a better social life than me, my best friend from high school was a big as a house and will explode with a baby soon, and questions about marriage are awkward and weird when asked by anyone.

Actually, the issue of getting married only came up a couple of times, once with the boy there and once without. I don't know why I'm uncomfortable with this topic, but really the boy and I talk about getting married pretty openly. He's all for running to Vegas for a planning free wedding. I don't think that's really what I want. But, we don't have a date and idea for the wedding, and I haven't been asked yet -- although the boy keeps saying stuff about it just out of my hearing to other people...he's not as subtle as he thinks. For me, the wedding seems a mere formality and an excuse to make all of my friends come and party with me. But it seems very important to a lot of other people. Don't know why.

So, then we came back here to San Diego. The boy's best friend from college was in town and we hung out with him on New Years Eve. We went to Dave and Busters, which is like Chuckie Cheese's for grown ups (you can play ski ball with a gin and tonic). We only intended to go for happy hour and dinner then we would go home for a quiet and relaxed evening of watching movies. Well, some how midnight rolled around and we were still there and I was very, very intoxicated. I switched to drinking waters. At some point I talked to some of my very good friends who were together, but then I hung up because apparently I'd forgotten to inform the boy and his friend that I was going outside to talk on the phone and they sort of freaked out because they couldn't find me. I would swear that I told them while they were playing one of the games, but that is neither here nor there. I think that I said I would call my friends back, but I didn't and I know I didn't talk to everyone. I am sorry about that and hope you all had plenty of fun in the Vermont snow. Feel free to rant at me via e-mail...

So, then school started last week. I haven't gotten all of my student loans, and therefore have no money. So, I have been quietly staying at home and watching the TV and pretending to get through my reading. Really, I do the reading, but I'm not really paying a lot of attention to it. It's more like skimming with highlighter than anything else. This weekend, however, there were free parties to attend, and I actually went to a party at a house of my fellow law students. There was much fun because I watched other people play this game based on guitar hero, but with a drum set and microphone. You compete as a band to become a rock band hero. It is fun to watch people play this while they drink. Things are just more serious yet much sloppier.

And now I'm at the library not studying for my classes today. I'm sure that this space will go back to my traditional rant about the whole wide world soon, but I just thought I'd finish up my "where I've been for the last three months" post.

If you could go see anything in Europe, where would you go?

So, um, I do update this blog . . .

Okay, so I just doubled checked the last time I updated, and I owe the two of you who still check this site an apology. I thought that I'd at least put something up about my birthday, but I didn't. Also, I never told you that I finished my finals, but that I don't have the will to study anymore, but I didn't do that either. Then I could have mentioned bringing the boy home for the holidays and seeing my niece, but I haven't done that either... In all, I really have dropped the ball the last two months. So, sorry. Here is a brief recap of November 22 to around Christmas.

I turned 30 on my birthday (as opposed to changing my age on a date not related to my birthday). I also had my last class on the same day. It was an evening class. So, on my 30th birthday, I learned about insider trading, but not enough to remember that I learned about insider trading without going to my notes to figure it out. After that I went out for a few beers with people from law school. I was pleasantly surprised at who showed up for a drink and I conveniently did not have to pay for any of it. Woohoo for friends. Plus a lot of friends who aren't around sent me birthday wishes. This gave me warm fuzzies on the inside and may me be okay with the fact that I've lived yet another decade. And that's all I have to say about that.

After my birthday, there were finals (about six days after my birthday, in fact). I had a final, then a paper, then another final. I finished all of them. I was not pleased with my performance on any of them. Stupid lack of time management skills...But, then I was done. Oh, and I have severe senioritis.

Then it was time to get ready for Christmas and going home for two weeks. This involved buying presents for even more people then any year. Mostly I spoilt my niece because it's very easy to do. However there were my parents, my sister and her husband, my niece, the boys parents, the boy's sister and her husband, the boy's aunt (who always gives me something), and the boy. Plus there are the friends who are having babies, the boy's friends who throw gatherings and invite us all the time, and the gift exchange. Then I had to send the holiday cards to my family, friends, the boy's family, and the boy's friends. If you didn't get one and you think you know me well enough, it's probably because I don't have your snail mail address. Or I sent it and it came back to me because I don't have an up-to-date address. Plus, the boy got me a Christmas tree, and I had to decorate it (btw -- this is not a chore it's a fun filled project of joy for me).

Then I went to the boy's friends annual Christmas party. It's hard for me because I don't really fit in, in part because I don't try to fit in and in part because I'm just not a standard girl. I don't really know most of the people that are there, and some of them I don't actually like very much. There are people who don't like each other for whatever reason, there are people who fight with each other -- oh and they're married to each other, there are people who drink too much every time they go out, and there are people who are just closed off to new people. Plus, I don't feel comfortable with new people, even though I've been to this party for the past three years...Then there is the gift exchange, which always ends up giving me the crappy gift. (For example, this year I picked up the car cleaning and detailing kit, which would be great but I live in an apartment without a way of cleaning my card. I actually regifted this present.) Then the boy insists on staying until the bitter end so that we can help clean. This year, I was cleaning while three of the wives were sitting around talking (one of whom is trying to stay pregnant, so I felt that was acceptable). Most of the husbands helped, and the single guys, too, but a couple of them just sat around and kept drinking. While that annoyed me, what galled me is that only one of them said thank you, and he helped to clean... End of rant...

Then I went home for the holidays. My dad took me to a lot of events and then there was the wine tasting at my parents house, then the boy came up, then we went to more events, then there was Christmas morning, then my sister and her family showed up that afternoon and we had the gift opening, then Christmas dinner with my family and another family who is like the other half of our family, then I got a cold, then we had our family photo -- including the boy -- done by the professional photographer, then the boy went home, then I saw my best friend from high school who is eight months pregnant, and then I slept on the plane. Highlights included:
a) a man from a group my dad belongs to asking if I was his wife
b) a women from the same group told me she thought I was 18
c) I got thrown up by my niece about eight time, usually on at least two pieces of clothing
d) it snowed on Christmas day, which is not that exciting for most people, but has not happened in Portland in the 19 years my parents have lived there
e) realizing that the boy had never seen snow on Christmas and then having a snowball fight with him, which he won
f) seeing all of my family together, including the second family who count as family, at the Christmas table, so that there were 11 of us
g) getting my ass kicked by my entire family multiple times playing UNO, seriously, I suck at that game...
h) finding out that I can put my niece back to sleep myself
So, the boy was hesitant to be in the family photo, only because we're not married and he didn't want to my parents to feel obligated to include him. My mom, however was very insistent, and pointed out that family is not about a piece of paper but the love you bring to each other. The boy was convinced upon that speech, which I relayed back and forth as I talked to my mom on the phone.
Also, my niece is growing, but she still doesn't keep all of her food down (thus the throwing up on me so often). She's starting to look like a healthy, chubby baby, which is adorable. The baby vomit, not so cute.

Okay, I'll finish my story later, but I need to get to school so that I can buy my books for class tomorrow, for which I have reading assignments already to do...

Does anyone else have the issue of a constant radio in your head? I have had "The Right Stuff" by the NKOTB running on my head radio for the last 12 hours. I need to change the channel...