January Part 1

So, I spent my New Years Eve in sweatpants playing a videogame with the boy. Not my usual stellar performance but I enjoyed it a lot. I did talk to a few people, mostly family, as the new years washed across the states each in their appropriate time zone. Some were sober, some were not. It was good to hear each of their voices for a lot of different reasons. However, I did get a little sad that I didn't get to spend the night with my friends or family (not that I didn't love spending the time with the boy, but you know what I mean). I have said (probably more often than necessary) that I think that New Years Eve is the holiday you spend with whomever you choose. Most people spend Thanksgiving and the winter holiday of their persuasion with family if it is possible, but New Years is not so much a family tradition but an excuse for everyone to hang out with people that they love who don't know what you looked like when you were zero years old, if that's what they want. Over the last two years, I have not really gotten a choice in where I was. This year I could have gone out (if I was made of money), but hanging out with drunken strangers is not my idea of a fun New Years Eve. I get very sad for the many friends that I have and rarely see over this period.

Not that I write or call any of you, but I do miss you none the less.

About a week later I went home to visit my parents. I had an awesome time because my parents love and adore me and ply me with more wine than is recommended by so-called doctors. I seriously drank more with my parents than I had over the entire semester. I don't know what that says about my drinking during the semester or what that says about my time with my family. But, it wasn't like we were drinking for the purpose of drinking -- it was before/with/after dinner drinks of wine which makes it okay. I did get to see some friends who have know me since my awkward teen years (lord help me and them) and saw the possibility that we are growing up into adults. How scary is that?
I also got into an argument about whiskey with the youngest son of the friends of the family who I could have sworn is 12, but is apparently working on graduating from college/getting his masters simulataneously and is of legal drinking age which some how nearly warped into a debate (in a very long and winding 6 person discussion) about welfare. I babysat that kid -- how is he old enough to be an adult?
Overall it was a great time home and for the first time I could actually envision myself moving there someday sooner rather than later. I felt a very real sense of depression as I flew away, which I had not gotten in a really long time. I don't know if that means that I am not really happy here in San Diego or if in my burgeoning maturity I wish to be nearer my parents or if my sense of not having a network of friends here in San Diego took over or if there is something else I don't get going on.

I do know that I was really sad that I did not have a friends to go out with when I got back that isn't the boy. Sometimes I want to talk about the boy to someone, but I don't really have the feeling that there is anyone here who would get it.

Now, school has started today and I have a ton of poop on my plate, so if you don't hear from me until May, I'm probably not dead, just on the verge of a psychotic break.

PS Golden Globes is the bestests!