So, to sum up counselor, you know what you're talking about, have the case law memorized, know the record inside and out, and still cannot convince me you know what you're talking about because you always say "I believe" and "ah" and sound unconfident when you're forced to talk for more than thirty seconds at a time.
Yes your honor, that's true. However, it should be noted that the conversation and panic going on inside my head that never comes out into the courtroom is probably more telling of why I shouldn't win.
Why is that counselor?
Well, your honor, because it says "oh shiznit, that's one of the fatal flaws in my arguement on a merits level...I think this judge is trying to make me look stupid...may be I actually am stupid...wait, what am I saying, I am answering the question and I am not aware of the words coming out of my mouth...sigh, I don't know what I'm doing in law school..."
I see, and tell me again why we should modify our policy to agree with you?
My brain is saying that it's because you gave me the idea for the argument in other decisions, my mouth however is trying to be more eloquent with that fact and a bunch of crap keeps pouring out. So, basically, you should agree because I can just keep talking about this.
Interesting counselor. Is there anything else I should know?
Yes you honor, everyone elses arguments, I gave them those too, so I should be credited with any good points my colleague may have made even though you don't know that and I'm not supposed to help with substance. I just can't help it. That's really why I should win.
Thank you counselor.
No, thank you, your honor.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I'm in law school.
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