School will kill me

So, last semester it took a few weeks to begin to feel the overwhelmingness of school. This week it took a total of one class. And, it was the second semester of a class I had last semester. That, I would add, it not a good sign. I realized that I did nothing over break that will help me. I realized that I was not in school mode yet and therefore did a craptastic job of my reading assignment. I realized that the courses I am taking should all be my favorites becasue they all feed into the areas of the law that interest me the most. And I realized that I need to find a job for the summer. All of this is, well, overwhelming.

I either need to find a paying job for the summer or go to school and take out extra loans or move back in with my parents. Ummm, yeah, that's not bleak. Plus I have a lot of paper-(which I just tried to spell payper...what does that say) work to get done to get the rest of my life in order.

I don't know if I can live with my parents for three months, but they are great people who will probably leave me alone. So, it's not the worst possible solution. It just feels weird to be contemplating moving back in for the summer since I haven't done that in about 7 years. Part of me considers that a form of failure. Which the rest of me realizes is a stupid way of looking at it because it is part of the whole "school" thing.

So, I need to figure out a lot of things, most of which involve figuring out what I want to be when I grow up which I haven't been able to do this far in life. This makes me sad. Especially since I sometimes think I want to be a dancer (or something equally rediculous but we're using it for illustrative purposes). This is ridiculous because I do not have the drive, stamina, or, of slightly more importance, skill to do anything in the dance world. It would be a hilarious TV show on MTV, but not a good real world solution to my dilema. sigh...

Oh, and the constitutional law book is rediculously heavy. I need back support.