Procrastination and Nervous Breakdowns

Well. I am a month from the bar . . . awwwwwww freak out.

So, I create a slightly less stressed me, I have selected part of my "post-bar" trip. I am doing what a lot of other smart people did when they were young and unafraid and going to Europe. Since I am now old and fearful, I am using a tour group to "guide" me from place to place. I.e. I'm staying in decent hotels, which a strong likelihood of a private bathroom, I will have a guide nearby to ask questions about the cities I'm in, some of my meals are taken care of, and my luggage will be handled by someone in order to get me from place to place. I know, I know, I sold out and should have tried the whole Eurorail & hostel route. However, I'm alone on this trip and don't make friends easily. Also, I fit the horrible US citizen stereotype and only speak Americanized English. Lord help me, I'm sorry I just did not learn languages, ever. To let you all in on where I'm going, the trip includes Venice, Rome, Monte Carlo, Barcelona and Madrid. Each place is at least two days, and most are two nights. The tour group provides some orientation and "hard to get" tours for the group and then lets you spend your time being lost in Europe. Plus, there is forced interaction with other members of the tour at the group dinners. Hopefully, it will help me to get to a lot of places and see a lot of stuff.

I am sad that I won't get to other places, such as the rest of Europe, but to my knowledge it's not going anywhere and I doubt all the ruins and castles will disappear before my next opportunity to travel.

Next, I'm trying to figure out a way to go all over this fine nation and visit many of the lovely people I know. There are far to many of you living in places that no one else resides any longer. If you could, please, I would appreciate it if everyone I know would just move to the same location. Also, I'm trying to figure out how I can afford to do all this without a job. However, I think that I'm going to do something that I've, oddly enough, always wanted to do, and get a US Rail Pass for Amtrak and see this fine country by rail. I know it's not likely to be beautiful everywhere, but it will be an experience. It's also super cheap when compared to flying/driving to all the places I wish to go.

Finally, I've decided that I'm only really allowed to procrastinate in order to take care of real things, like financing, travel plans, talking to my family, etc. and no longer am allowed to read for fun. Also, I will be limiting all other "entertainment" until I'm either, less likely to cry when I perform a practice test and fail to achieve 50% correct, feel truly prepared to take the bar, or the bar is over. More than likely the last, the former are just likely to get worse as I continue down the spiral of frustration and horror that has become my studying of late.

PS Don't go to grad school, it costs way freaking too much in the end...